I had my first date at eleven. Mama, my heroine, fought so hard to birth Ije. Ije is Papa’s pride – our ‘golden child.’ Ije journeyed all the way to come to us. My birthday-mate! We awaited him for 10 years, 11 months, 29 days, 6 hours, and 53 seconds. But, Mama breathed her last when Ije cried his first. His cries ushered in more tears. It was our sweet sorrow – a son was born, but Mama died in the theatre fighting so he could live. I was a witness. That was my first date – a death-date!
Hey! Have you ever had a crush? Did it lead to ‘happy ever after’? Okay, so here was me, at age eight or so, drooling over my first man crush. If there was a ‘happy ever after’? I won’t be eager to tell you, so you’ll have to dig in and find out!
At age 8, or probably it was an age 9, I do not recall pretty much. But whether it was an eight or a nine, a plus or a minus 1, it doesn’t matter the figure. I was young and naive – ought to have been facing my books, and going to school, exactly what Dad and Mum paid heavily for me to do. But, you know how they quote these things:
“There are so many other things I should be doing with my life right now, but instead, I am stuck here crushing on you”.
I was just early into my Primary Three class when they had not only done me good to promote me to a new class, but also gave me a handsome-looking teacher. Just so you don’t think too much about how handsome he was (he is probably a married man now, and long off the market), I’ll do you a quick honour and tell you all the reasons why I just couldn’t help crushing. If you were in my class, I think you’ll also be sharing this story.
His name was Mr. Godwin, but we fondly called him: Uncle Goddy. The few times I stole a look at him, I usually noticed how really tall he stood – something near 9 feet. He had this well-trimmed beards (something I am just beginning to like now in guys), and he used to speak very fluently. (As a matter of fact, I went to a very outstanding private school – Monef Kiddies School. We prided in how we spoke English very well and all the extra-curricular activities we had in our school. Kudos to our teachers, especially to people like Uncle Goddy!). He was one among the many who spoke this American, mixed with British-accent English that I liked so much.
Uncle Goddy must have had a smile manufacturing machine in his house. He always wore the best kinds of smile attire every day to school. I am telling you about a sort of encouraging smile that makes you melt in your skin, while at the same time telling you: “you are beautiful.”
Not to mention his perfumes? Hmm! You’ll ask for a hug every time you met him..
Just to be clear, I wasn’t a bad girl at eight, I am still not a bad girl either! Lol. All these descriptions of Uncle Goddy are just finding its way to my head now, and just because I am telling you a story. Duh!
Well yeah, I agree that I am thinking of him then, and how handsome he was. Anyway, when you like someone, this is how to spend time describing them. So, you are allowed to take some clues from this lesson here, but just remember to give me the credit that I taught you how to do so! *Tongues out*
So are we good? Yeah! I guess so!
So, Uncle Goddy was handsome! He was like Van Vicker in the 2004 movie: “Beyonce: The President’s Daughter”, where he acted as Raj. (Did you watch that movie? Well, I did).
My Uncle Goddy was just like the lovie-dovie Raj character guy in that movie who was fond of ladies. Particularly, Uncle Goddy was fond of his pupils in the class and showed a lot of attention to girls. We were like birds always chirping around him: “Uncle Goddy this… Uncle Goddy that…!” That, I didn’t like it so much.
What was Uncle Goddy even thinking that he had to be fond of everyone? Showing attention to ALL the girls when I was right there, trying to make him notice how much I liked him at that age? What was all that chirping about? Was he that blind not to see?
I wanted all of that attention to myself alone, and I was going to get it! Lol! (Yeah, I know what you are thinking, and you can think it right away!)
One day, amid all these love wars going on inside of me, I thought it was better to write Uncle Goddy a letter. He was taking too long to notice me and I had not all the patience to wait. So I jumped on my idea, and it didn’t cost me anything to birth the idea.
Headlines: Eight-year-old Primary Three Pupil writes Class Teacher a Love Letter!
Well, my letter was not so deep. I know you are curious about the content, right? Don’t worry, hold your peace, the story isn’t ending anytime soon.
That day, after I got home from school, I went about my normal life. I was not in a hurry to write my letter as I did not want to get it in the way of everyone in my house. They were busy minding their business, and I was going to mind mine too.
After I had done all my homework, obviously, I went to work as I proposed in my heart to do. I wrote my letter that night. I can’t recall the exact time I did. But I am certain It must have been late into the night. I wouldn’t have stood my mum asking me what I was writing, and maybe walked over to see it for herself just in case it was homework that I would have needed guidance on.
I’ll be in Heaven right now probably telling God the story and not you. So, thank God she didn’t!
In my letter, I did not hold back on telling Uncle Goddy how I liked him and wanted to visit him at his house, while he’ll welcome me to well-prepared fried rice and chicken.
Such apt imaginations for an eight-year-old!
When I had scribbled a satisfactory letter, and all the other things I wrote that I cannot recall right now, I slept off like a baby. I spent my dreams imagining what the expression on my Uncle Goddy’s face would be like when he saw my letter. I was happy that finally, he was going to know how much I needed ALL of his attention to myself.
To our happy ever after, cheers!
The next day didn’t even delay to break. It started as a happy school day. I went about my morning routine as I should, did all my home chores, and then went on to have my bath and get prepared for school.
The girl was an actress indeed!
Then it was time for breakfast. So I wore my under-garments and went downstairs. It was customary for us to always put on our school uniforms after we were done with our breakfast so we won’t spill food on it while eating.
I took my letter with me for breakfast. I do not know why I did not think of placing it in my school bag. I guess it was anxiety telling me I would deliver it immediately I arrive at school. So I carried it all about the place, carefully hidden in my left palm. I was also not hoping to forget it at home, neither did I want anyone to know about my motive. So it was safer with me. I folded it to my palm-size, then sat down to enjoy my breakfast.
I had not even gotten halfway into my sumptuous meal when I became uncomfortable with having to eat with one hand, while my letter was in the other hand. At some time, I needed to hold my plate with my left hand so I could scoop a spoonful of my food with my right hand. So I had to tuck my letter somewhere just so I don’t get it exposed. Under my laps came quickly to my mind. It was perfect to keep my letter hidden. On the chair I sat, I slipped my letter under my laps, then continued with my meal.
A girl was just eight, don’t judge her for how smart she was. Lol!
I bet it was one of my quickest breakfast. After I had finished eating, I stood up and went to the kitchen to drop my plates in the sink. Then I walked over to get my uniform. I was too excited that the time was getting nearer.
I was just about to reach out to my uniform that hung on the rail, when my brain froze!
“Where is your letter?” My brain demanded.
“Oh No! Where is my letter…!”
“Where is my letter…”
“I forgot my letter! I forgot to take it from the chair I sat!” My heart panicked.
“You were not supposed to leave it!” My brain scolded.
In the dining room, there was this cushion that sat right behind the children’s dining table. It was dad’s favourite chair in the dining room. Most times, when we sat down to eat, Dad was always right there beside us, watching as we ate. On other days, when our hands were lazy, Dad would sit on it and feed us. This morning, Dad was not seated on the cushion, but my brother was. All the while, he had been sitting right there, minding his business, and maybe stealing some looks at me as I ate.
When I stood up from my chair, I betrayed my letter! I left it on the seat innocently. While my mind was busy questioning me, my eyes had gone in search of my letter. I was curious as to whether it fell on the floor. But I wanted to really act cool about it as my brother was fixing a stare at me. It was after I wore my uniform, that I turned to the surprise of my brother reading out my letter, aloud!
“Dear Uncle Goddy… I like you…”
Are you still waiting to know what happened? Nahhhh! You should know me by now, I don’t tell the end. Lol!
Well, don’t ask me what happened to my life! But I will share with you two lessons from my story:
My letter never made it to the gram, not to talk of Uncle Goddy, and my mother reset my brain! Thanks to my brother!
But guess what? Three years later, after that incident, I had become a big girl, a secondary school student for that matter. One day, while on this busy road trying to cross over to the other side, my eyes caught someone familiar. I was trying to run an errand for whoever sent me, but I became distracted at the sight of whom I saw.
Guess who it was? Lol! You know it!
My Uncle Goddy was right before me! We eventually collided as we bumped into ourselves. Same tall, handsome Uncle Goddy of three years back was right in front of me! He was all to me, and there were no chirping noises of children screaming: “Uncle Goddy… Uncle Goddy that…”
There were no girls, and he was no longer showing attention to anyone but me! He was right in front of me. He was not just standing in front of me, we had a conversation, sort of.
“How are you, Mmenyene? How is school? You are now a big girl… bla bla bla!”
But Mmenyene of that day was no longer interested! The crush had died a natural death.
“I am fine Sir. School is fine. Please I am trying to rush home, I have an errand to attend to. Bye, Sir.” That is all I recall I said.
Ouch! She was not trying to be mean. The brain reset from mum must have formatted the crush too! Lol!
My dear, just so you know, crushes die too, whether it was your first or the last! Crushes die! So take heart! If it is not Love, it is infatuation or lust! Not all of them make it to a “happy ever after”.
THE END THE END
Did you enjoy my story? What was your first crush story like? Did it end in something similar to mine? Please leave me a comment, let us have fun reminiscing. I promise not to laugh too hard at your story. Lol!
Image Source: https://bestlifeonline.com/how-to-tell-a-guy-likes-you/
Abeg, make una follow me see this matter. How you take judge am?
I wan yan una tori as this matter strong pass me!
PS: If you read this and you are not guilty, I have a gift for you!
Many people have not made it in life yet because of this problem.
You know say me I be Story Teller, so I wee sha gist you. So, see as the thing happen, make una follow me judge am…
Last year, I wanted to put up a long overdue post. If you follow my articles on my blog, you’ll know that I always gift the best review of my article with a recharge card.
By the way, the winner of the N3,000 recharge card for best review of the last article I published has not been announced yet. (The Two Sides of the Abuse Coin. You can read it here:https://mmenyeneakpakpan.com/abuse-has-two-sides-to-it-defense-or-attack/). Although we have a winner, so look out for it.
Ehen, make I continue…
So, whenever my article is about to go public, I usually do it with the recharge card gift in my post. But guess what? I WAS BROKE!
If you like let ya eye come out from the socket, e concern you. When you are broke admit it!
As I was saying, I needed that post to go out, and it is my custom to always gift someone a recharge card. So, I was writing the post for my Instagram timeline when my sister saw me. She looked closely and saw me writing, “N3,000 for the best…” She was alarmed. She laughed sarcastically, and I knew why. She knew that I was broke that period, and perhaps, she was wondering where I’ll get the cash from. She walked over to a friend and whispered in his ears, who also laughed too.
I was pained, whether it was the laugh they generously offered me, or it was the fact that she knew I was broke, I can’t tell what exactly was my pain. In my mind I thought, “Ohh because say you know my condition naa” Well, if you know my sister too, you’ll also know she’s the Master of Sarcasm, coupled with her thunderous laughter. If you like take her seriously, she no send you!
But the matter I wan talk today na this “See Finish Syndrome”. A lot of people have not made it in life just because of this annoying act. Do you know how annoying it can be? I am not sure you do, but I’ll say it like this; “We know people too much!” Abi, make I put am like this; “We think we know people too much!” But in the actual sense we know nothing!
You see your roommate putting N2,000 as offering in church, you seat there calculating, “no be she just soak garri this morning?” “No be him ask person make them borrow him N50?” What is your concern sef? You cannot just act say you no know?
I had a friend who used to assume that he knew all of my wardrobe, whereas he had not even seen 2.5% of it. He had visited me often, so he knew to his own knowledge. Whenever he saw me wearing an outfit he had never seen, he’ll quickly comment; “Ohh, I have never seen this one”. Or perhaps he saw a shoe he had never seen, he’ll be like; “Ohh, you just bought a new shoe”. Meanwhile that shoe had been in my house for more than 6 months. My response has always been “I have clothing that are more than 365 days of a year” 😒
It’s not sarcasm, neither is it pride biko!
Please, that nonsense should stop! Let people make it in life! Let them be their selves whether in the social media space or wherever you see them. Stop embarrassing people’s destinies. If someone is broke today, don’t assume that is their permanent state. “No one knows tomorrow”, abi no be wetin dem dey talk be that?
That is how gossip starts and spreads. Funnily, the things we assume we know about people is the one we talk the more. Shut up! Who asked you? Even if you were ask, and so? Must you say it? Was a gun put to your head?
Leave people to live their lives!
Familiarity makes the lion more dangerous
I recall a time in secondary school, I got into an argument with a friend. Just see the silly matter – the friend assumed she knew my house because she had once passed by a bus stop closest to it. In the argument, she said I was living in a bush. I was trying to make a defense of how she had never even been to my street, talk more of my house. In the heat of the argument, two other friends who had been to my house severally, came to my rescue.
“Have you seen her house, don’t even go there oo?” That was how they responded in my favour, and thank goodness they did, because the other girl sucked up whatever she was trying to say.
People who know you the least will always have the most to say about you
You have a neighbour who carries his children on bike abi na okada to school. Then you see him posting a picture of himself driving a Toyota Camry on his Facebook page. That is the time your village ancestors will whisper in your left ear to go and comment on his post. Then, you won’t even think twice, you’ll quickly type a comment! Why didn’t your village ancestors not tell you to type a nice comment? You will just spritz out whatever nonsense that is in your head.
Why are you like this? Ehn! answer me! Over familiarity right?
Then, you’ll shock yourself the next morning when you look from your ‘aproko balcony’, only to see your neighbour actually riding his children in that same Toyota Camry to school. Shebi you will not mind your business? Just like that girl, you too will suck it up!
In other news, I am not encouraging people who live double lives. Ehen! I know someone has been thinking all the while: “What about people who you know them so well in reality, but what they put out on their social media is different”
I have cleared the air abi? Whatever you know about people, keep it to yourself, don’t be in that “spread-the-tale-campaign“
Okay, back to my story. After I felt bad, I still posted my post! 😂 I dinnor say because my sister has laughed I wee not make it. I made it, and many comments came in, and I have selected my winner!
Ejo fi mi le! 😂
Afterall, when Sarah laughed, it still didn’t stop God from doing what he wanted to do.
Meanwhile, I am not broke again 😁
Familiarity is an eye Thief; it ruptures your eyes out of its socket, and makes you blind even to the good in people. Mmenyene-Abasi Akpakpan
In summary, please no see anybody finish for this life! You fit see them with one eye, then close the other eye and your mouth too! So that tomorrow, when your two eyes are open, you shall see them better.
PS: I am still learning pidgin, just don’t come and disturb me oo mbok. 😋
I hope you enjoyed my story, and I hope you will repent? Oya, what have you learnt? Please leave your comments, and your experiences too, I am open to hear them!